This is a list I have compiled using my over twenty-years experience on earth in Nigeria. It is possible anyone who has lived in the same geographical location would have the same experience.
4. A Female Obioma:
‘Obioma’ is a name given to people who
carry small sewing machines around from house to house, street to street to mend clothes at your doorstep. My entire life, I have never seen a woman do this job. It seems to be restricted in some way, to only the men folk. If you have ever seen a female obioma, maybe it was in a nollywood movie- oh, or a dream.
3. An Albino’s Obituary Poster:
There is no need to explain what an albino is.
The thing people need to explain is why no one has ever seen an obituary poster for an albino. Or have you ever seen one? A conspiratory theory might say that albinos don’t die. Hmm. Maybe they have a point.
Have You Seen Any?
2. A Yoruba movie without juju:
Yes o. This one is impossible. It’s like saying you want to cook egusi soup without using egusi; or you want to sleep without closing your eyes. A Yoruba movie without some voodoo in the plot has not existed yet. Babalawo ti take over!
1. 120 Hours of Electricity:
I grew up in Port Harcourt, folks and NEPA people showed us shege. It seemed that we only had light when an intern was being shown around the PHCN building that controls our light. Then the tour guide would pull down the lever, so there will be light, then he’ll say to the intern, “now that’s how to turn the light on, and this is how to turn it off.” With that, the light goes off again until another intern is being shown around, three weeks later. The ‘longest light’ I’ve seen in my life was during the last elections, when we had light for like 4 days straight. That was before the NEPA people finally came with N140k bill and we had to root our meter. Yes, you can root meters these days.
4. A Female Obioma:
‘Obioma’ is a name given to people who
carry small sewing machines around from house to house, street to street to mend clothes at your doorstep. My entire life, I have never seen a woman do this job. It seems to be restricted in some way, to only the men folk. If you have ever seen a female obioma, maybe it was in a nollywood movie- oh, or a dream.
3. An Albino’s Obituary Poster:
There is no need to explain what an albino is.
The thing people need to explain is why no one has ever seen an obituary poster for an albino. Or have you ever seen one? A conspiratory theory might say that albinos don’t die. Hmm. Maybe they have a point.
Have You Seen Any?
2. A Yoruba movie without juju:
Yes o. This one is impossible. It’s like saying you want to cook egusi soup without using egusi; or you want to sleep without closing your eyes. A Yoruba movie without some voodoo in the plot has not existed yet. Babalawo ti take over!
1. 120 Hours of Electricity:
I grew up in Port Harcourt, folks and NEPA people showed us shege. It seemed that we only had light when an intern was being shown around the PHCN building that controls our light. Then the tour guide would pull down the lever, so there will be light, then he’ll say to the intern, “now that’s how to turn the light on, and this is how to turn it off.” With that, the light goes off again until another intern is being shown around, three weeks later. The ‘longest light’ I’ve seen in my life was during the last elections, when we had light for like 4 days straight. That was before the NEPA people finally came with N140k bill and we had to root our meter. Yes, you can root meters these days.
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